We named our party play list daddy issues
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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