honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
