The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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