we're blogging at a bar
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
