i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
