I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
are you so shy because you have an std?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
