Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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