she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
