Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
