yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
