I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
