His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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