sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
