seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
