there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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