Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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