Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
