if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
