So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
