he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I fill condoms, not promises.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
