do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
operation have a gay friend backfired
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
