her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
