i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
