Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
As shirtless as possible
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
