i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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