Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
