dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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