Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
