I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
