please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
