I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
