last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
