yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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