why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
