cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
