I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
foreskin is a definite game changer
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
