i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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