We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I love having hate sex.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
