I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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