I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
