Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
