Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
