i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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