who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
