Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
