Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
