HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
