Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
