Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
