We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
