i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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