I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
