how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
