were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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