it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
