Will you blow on my dice?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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