i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
