I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
